Err, can she do it?

Five months ago, I stumbled upon a new world where I was almost baffled at society's way of thinking when it comes to marriage. Yes, my parents are looking for marriage proposals. Although I consider this as an experience, it was an alarming observation at how people perceive hearing aids or Deafness in general.


Society is in the view that people living with disabilities better marry a disabled person as they can understand each other better and form an understanding from common ground. It is partly true if they can work on communication.


A few months after my proposal declaring that I was deaf and hearing aid and cochlear user. Some people were interested. They were mainly divorcees and disabled people. But at the moment, my parents once again mentioned that I wear hearing aids and cochlear. They were not interested.


In marriage, we are excluded, forgotten, judged, and they are doubtful if we can manage.

I pondered over this for quite a while, and I realized that it is up to society to be open-minded. I have always noticed that whenever we, the deaf, or people living with disabilities, achieve in something that is beyond our capability, we are placed on a pedestal or society applauses and praises us. But when it comes to marriage, it is like errr, can she/he do this?


People, all of our life, we have been enduring and trying to survive with the limited resources we have.

The society thinks that disability is inherited or genetic. I think society needs to educate themselves on which disabilities can be inherited or genetic. For instance, I am living proof that I come from a family without any visible disabilities. I, as a deaf girl, was born to a hearing couple and an extended family who did not have any indication that my parents would get a deaf child.


I do not think there is any difference when it comes to the older generation and the younger generation. It depends on their mindset/ awareness of people living with disabilities and education. However, I have observed the younger generation more forthcoming and eager to learn while the older generation is more hesitant.


Society has made up their mind that two deaf individuals would be more suited for each other, while others would say it is better if people with disabilities marry each other. But in my opinion, it is not the case. Many factors come into play. I think it is better to be single for as long as possible rather than listening to society telling you to get married at a specific age.


I have always noticed that people plop us down and tell their children what fabulous human beings we are. But in marriage, we are excluded, forgotten, judged, and they are doubtful if we can manage. People, all of our life, we have been enduring and trying to survive this life with the limited resources we have.


I always keep wondering why society judges us? Why the difference in applauding and praising a person with a disability, and at the same time ignoring when it comes to matters like this? And lastly, why the question if she can manage?

 

#Marriage #Society #Deaf #survivial #limitedresources